csiladies

    Olivia had reached her breaking point. She needed to get away from the farmhouse and get her emotions back together. She had to be strong, after all she was Olivia Freaking Spencer. Olivia walked quickly toward the woods lost in thought unaware she was being followed. She slowed down as she got into the heart of the woods and walked toward her thinking place. So far she was the only one who knew about it.

     Natalia followed Olivia into the woods trying to gather courage. I can do this. This is Olivia, my best friend. And the love of my life. Natalia found some inner courage and began to walk more quickly so she didn't lose sight of Olivia. She swiftly moved behind a tree as Olivia turned around and sat on a log. Natalia felt her heart clench painfully in her chest as she saw tears streaming down Olivia's beautiful face. All she wanted to do was run to Olivia and kiss those tears away.

     Olivia wrapped her arms around herself and let the tears fall. She tilted her head down and just let out all the emotions that had been plaguing her. Anger, fear, love, and sadness. They were slowly tearing her apart. Seeing Natalia again didn't help matters. All she could do was look at Natalia with love and sadness, knowing that she had hurt such a gentle soul. Even repeating to herself over and over again that it was for the best didn't make the pain go away. It made the agony unbearable, all most to the point where she didn't think she wouldn't be able to handle it anymore.

     Natalia couldn't take it anymore, she just couldn't sit back and watch the woman she loved cry. She walked over to Olivia and kneeled in front of her asking, “ Please don't cry Liv. I can't stand it.” Olivia started in surprise. She hadn't known that Natalia followed her all the way here without her noticing it. Olivia looked at Natalia feeling all different kinds of emotions. “ Why are you here? Please just leave me alone,” Olivia said. Her walls had started to come up. She always did this when she was vulnerable. It was a self defense mechanism.

     One that Natalia saw right through. Instead of feeling sadness for her love all she felt was anger. “I'm not leaving Olivia. Tell me whats wrong,” Natalia said forcefully looking right into her eyes. Olivia blinked at the fierceness in Natalia's tone. “ Fine I'LL leave then,” Olivia replied feeling angry herself. But before she could get up Natalia sat on her lap effectively freezing Olivia who looked at her stunned. “ Why the hell are you quick to run away from me...from us?” Natalia demanded. Olivia was stunned speechless yet again. Natalia actually cursed.

     Then the speechlessness went away as Olivia processed the rest of Natalia's statement. “ There is no US. I thought I told you that. I don't want that kind of life for you!” Olivia exclaimed heatedly. At that Natalia got angrier. “ Who are you to decide that for me? I'm a big girl I can make my own decisions!” Natalia said her voice low and angry. “ Oh yeah? And what about Frank and Rafe? What about the rest of the Coopers? What will they think?” Olivia said her face get closer to Natalia's as they argued.

     “I wouldn't care! But if you must know I already told Frank and Rafe. I broke Franks heart but I told him the truth and he was glad I did. Rafe just wants me to be happy, and you make me happy!” Natalia exclaimed. Now they were nose to nose. Olivia froze in disbelief/ She didn't think that Natalia would tell Frank so soon, and Rafe. She tried to look away from Natalia but found her face captured.

    “Don't run away from me again Olivia. All I want to do is be with you and love you for the rest of my life. Why won't you let me?” Natalia said tenderly. Tears started falling down Olivia's face again and Natalia didn't hesitate to kiss them away. Slowly she kissed Olivia once, then twice until Olivia responded. They kissed for a timeless moment breaking apart to breath.

     Olivia gave a sob and buried her face in Natalia's neck holding on for dear life. Natalia hugged back tightly never wanting to let go of the beautiful woman sobbing in her arms. She fell in love with Olivia and now she was never going to let her go. Sighing in contentment she closed her eyes and rubbed Olivia's back soothingly.

    Sam watched carefully as his older sister sauntered into the kitchen. Her face might fool anyone else but he knew she was hurting on the inside. Emma must of sensed it also because as soon as Olivia sat down she asked,“Mommy are you okay?” Olivia gently smiled at her daughter and replied, “Yeah baby, I'm fine.”

    That seemed to satisfy the little girl, but Sam wasn't fooled by the facade. “Are you sure Olivia?” Sam asked putting an emphasis on her name. Olivia glared at her brother. Even after all these years he could still read her like an open book.

     “I'm positive, Samuel,” Olivia replied just as Natalia walked in with Rafe. “RAFE!” Yelled Emma excitedly, happy to see him again. She shot out of her seat and jumped in his arms. “Munchkin! How are you?” Rafe asked smiling happily at the little girl he thought of as a little sister. Little Emma babbled on about school, her friends, and how much she missed Rafe. Olivia felt a gentle smile tug at her lips as she gazed at them.

     Feeling a tug on her arm she turned and looked at her brother. “ Come sit with me Liv,” Sam said. Olivia reluctantly sat at the table and turned to him. “How are you really?” This time Sam spoke in French to keep it between the two of them. “ I've been better, a lot has happened in the past year,” Olivia replied her eyes downcast. Sam looked at her worriedly but before he could say anything two mug of hot coffee was placed in front of them. Natalia gave them a quick smile before going back to the coffee machine.

     Olivia watched her walk away feeling sad. Why can't the things in my life ever be easy? She thought somberly. “ You're in love with her, aren't you Olivia?” Sam asked gently. At that very moment Olivia had taken a sip of her coffee. Now she choked on it, coughing and looking at her brother like a deer caught in headlights. How the fuck did he figure that out so fast? Was it written all over my face? Dammit, Olivia thought panicking.

     “ Yes I am. Do you have a problem with it?” Olivia all but barked, not denying it. It was true wasn't it? “Nope not one, I'm happy for you. Does she know?” Sam asked in french. “Yes she does, and she feels the same way. Look can we talk about this later? I would rather not have an audience,” Olivia said glancing warily around. She had been nervous about what Sam would say about her and Natalia. Sam was good at reading her emotions.

     Olivia apparently didn't have to worry about how Sam would take the news. He seemed ecstatic about it. It's no wonder. I haven't been in love in such a long time. He just wants me to be happy. Unbidden tears came to Olivia's eyes. She stood up so quickly that everyone stopped and stared at her. “ I'm going for a walk,” She said hurriedly. Before Sam could protest she stalked out of the kitchen unaware of Natalia putting down her dishrag and walking determinedly after her. Sam smiled and thought to himself, maybe Natalia can get through to my hardheaded sister. She deserves to be happy. All that she has been though this past year. Natalia is the one person that has gotten under Olivia;s skin and wormed her way into her heart, no matter how many walls she put around it. Go Natalia!

     Emma unbuckled her seat belt and ran toward the front door before Olivia could say anything. “Em hang on!” Olivia called after her daughter, grabbing her purse and getting out of the car. Olivia spent some time putting her keys back into her purse. She dreaded going into that house and facing Natalia and her brother together. Even though she had missed him, Olivia didn't know how much more she could take without reaching her breaking point. In the middle of her thinking she felt a soft hand cover hers.

     Olivia looked up and was captured by the most beautiful brown eyes that she would never tire of looking at. “ Hi,” Olivia stammered, unable to look away. “ Hey.” Natalia replied still looking at her intensely. They were still looking at each other until Emma called out,” Mommy, mommy Uncle Sam is here!” That gave Olivia an excuse to move away from Natalia and start walking to her brother and daughter. Sam had Emma in his arms hugging her tightly, Emma had such an expression of happiness on her face that Olivia felt tears sting her eyes. She blinked them back knowing that once she started she would not stop. As she drew nearer, Olivia got a good look at Sam. He looked older and wiser. His hair was a dirty blond color and he had a mustache. His eyes were a warm blue color, but held a darkness that he had seen on the job.

     Sam put Emma down and held his arms out to his sister. Olivia didn't hesitate and walked straight into her brother's comforting embrace. They held on tightly for a long time without saying a word. Olivia put her head on Sam's strong shoulder and relaxed. It felt so good to be near him again. She felt safe and loved. Before she could stop herself a few tears escaped and soaked into his jacket.

    “Hey, whats wrong Liv?” Sam asked softly. Olivia pulled back and smiled, wiping her eyes. “ Nothing, just happy to see you,” She said happily. Sam looked suspicious but didn't press the issue.

Olivia suddenly felt Natalia stand beside them.”Why don't we go inside and get warm?” She asked looking worriedly at Olivia. Before Olivia had a chance to answer Sam beat her the punch and said grinning,” Sure, thanks.” “Yay!” Emma said excitedly bounding into the house. Sam followed after her leaving Olivia and Natalia outside. Olivia quickly wiped her face making sure there were no excess tears. “ Olivia are you okay?” Natalia asked worried. Olivia nodded avoiding her eyes. “ Olivia look at me!” Natalia said firmly.

     Reluctantly Olivia raised her face and looked Natalia in the eye.” I'm fine Natalia, I can take care of myself,” Olivia said a little bit too harshly.” I know that, forgive me for caring,” Natalia said angry and hurt. Olivia felt bad and grabbed her arm before she could go into the house.” I'm sorry for snapping at you, it's not your fault. I'm just tired and cranky. I don't take surprises very well,” Olivia said softly. Natalia took a closer look at Olivia and saw that she was tired. Dark circles were under her eyes and she looked sad.

     “Hey come here,” Natalia said, pulling Olivia into an embrace. Olivia froze for a second at the feel of Natalia hugging her tightly. She soon relaxed and hugged Natalia back feeling at home in her arms. Then Olivia remembered her words a couple of days ago and pulled away. “ Well we'd better get in there, before Sam and Emma start to wonder where we are,” Olivia said in a falsely cheerful voice and quickly went inside before Natalia could get a word out. Olivia sighed in relief, she was so sure she would of broke down at the feel of Natalia hugging her. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. It wouldn't do if Sam and Emma saw her like this. When Olivia was sure her emotions were down pat she walked confidently into the living room, head held high.

    Olivia Spencer lay contemplating the Beacon’s hotel room ceiling. She had a lot to think about. Telling Natalia that she loved her on her wedding was a stupid thing. Then after the gazebo incident when Natalia told Olivia that she could not marry Frank because she was in love with her, Olivia Spencer. Olivia knew she was cruel when she said “there is no us!” God Olivia hated herself at that point because she could see the hurt and anguish in those beautiful brown eyes.

     Lost in thought Olivia jumped when her cell phone rings. Looking at the caller ID she saw that it was Natalia. She was about to let it go to voice mail because she didn't think that she could talk to her without breaking down, when she got a strange vibe that this was very important. Answering it Olivia said, “Hello ?” “Hello Livvy,”said a voice she hadn't heard in months.” SAM?!” Olivia all but yelped into the phone.” Damn woman calm down no need to bust out my ear drums.” Sam said cheekily.”What? Where are you? Why are you calling on Natalia's cell phone? Is she alright? Are you alright? When did you...” Olivia asked rapidly before she was interrupted.

     “Woah sis calm down. Everything is fine. I wanted to come and surprise you, only to find you weren't at home. I'm at the farmhouse as you can already guess. Your friend Natalia answered the door and said she didn't know where you are. I gotta tell ya sis she doesn't look too good. Maybe she was worried because you weren't home?” Sam said sounding genuinely concerned. “ I don't live there anymore Sam, though I'm not surprised that she didn't tell you. As for her well being, well, she was supposed to get married a couple of days ago and she left her groom at the altar...” Olivia trailed off almost saying, for me.

     “Well anyways get over here. And bring Emma. Lord knows I haven't seen my niece in so long,” Sam ordered. Olivia sucked in a breath at the thought of going back to the farmhouse. “ Listen Sam I don't think that is such a good idea right now...” Olivia tried to say without her voice cracking with emotion. As usual nothing went past Sam without him knowing it, He picked up on her hesitation right away. “No buts Livvy. I want to see you here in the next 15 minutes,” He said and hung up.

     Olivia stared at her cell phone for a long moment. Slowly she put it in her purse and on auto pilot she grabbed her jacket and went to go get Emma. As she went she thought to herself, Could this day get any stranger, I hope there is no more surprises waiting for me. But with her luck that probably would not be the case. Steeling herself for what she was about to face, she marched out the door with her head held high.

To be continued...